Why I Want an Emo Boyfriend (Satire)

Why I Want an Emo Boyfriend (Satire)

The other day, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, when I stumbled upon a picture of a boy wearing all black. After that, I went through his profile and went through the tags he used. The one I looked through the most was #emoboys, and it got me thinking, “omg emo boys are so pretty 🤩.” I figured today I would talk about why I now want an emo boyfriend.

 

  1. You Never Know What You’re Gonna Get

Emos are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get. There are so many subcultures of dark fashion out there, there’s goth, emo, and… yeah. There are so many different types of emo music too, there’s rap and rock. Those are the only two. 

The point is, emo boys aren’t like other guys. They’re different, they’re sad, they’re just misunderstood. They paint their nails and wear eyeliner. When have you ever seen a non-emo guy do that? Never. Right. Emo guys also tend to have fluffy hair and they usually only wear one color: black. They’re just so different from other guys, I mean how could one not be attracted to that.

Other boys are just so basic 🙄, you always know what to expect from them.

 

  1. Boys 🤩

Aside from the already great qualities I just named, boys, in general, are just awesome. But if you add a little bit of depression and fruitiness you’ve got the perfect man. Just imagine, pulling an emo boy’s hair out of his face and revealing his eyes or eyebrows- or whatever you couldn’t previously see. 

When I was scrolling through #emoboys I actually found a guy named Ash and it hadn’t even occurred to me that he had eyes until he posted a video where he pulled his hair back. 

On the topic of Ash’s long hair, I sent some of my friends pictures of him asking what they thought. Most of them replied, “dude I literally can’t see his face so idk what he looks like.” Smh they’re so blind. Like you can still see his jaw. That’s part of his face. 

I’m not attracted to girls, which is why I want a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. Mall goth girls are still cool tho 🤷, just not what I’m into.

 

  1. Tbh I Just Want Someone to Listen to Music With

I’m going to be 100% honest. I’m coming out as emo, I’m sorry to disappoint the people who really believed I wasn’t :(. I don’t look it because my mom won’t let me buy the clothes I want.

I’m not lying when I say I’ve been listening to rock music all my life though. Some of my favorite bands are Killswitch Engage, Avenged Sevenfold, and As I Lay Dying. I like traditional emo bands like MCR, Blink 182, and Nirvana too. I’m so emo :). 

It’d be really nice to have someone to headbang with. I don’t currently have ANY friends that are serious fans of the bands I like, like me. I know the lyrics to almost every song on my rock playlist, it’d just be nice to have someone who also knows them 😔. 

 

When thinking about what my ideal partner would be like, it’s pretty clear to me that I want an emo boyfriend. I hope other people understand. If any emo boys want to date me, I’m free. 🙂

 

 

(In all seriousness, I’m not trying to make fun of emo people. In fact, I am into rock music/culture and have been all my life. This post was supposed to mock the people who know nothing about the culture and subcultures. 🙂 )

Best My Chemical Romance Songs From Each Album

Best My Chemical Romance Songs From Each Album

Hey, do you like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini, and Croquet? Well, today I’ll be taking you through the discography of My Chemical Romance, starting from Bullets to Danger Days, and show you the best-underrated songs of each album in my opinion.

Bullets: Honey, This Mirror Isn’t…

Starting fresh from 2002, we’re starting with their first album, “I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love”. The song that I believe is the best on this album is “Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough for the Two of Us”. This song spreads awareness about drug and alcohol use since it revolves around Gerard Way, the lead singer’s past and experience behind it. It’s the second track on the album itself and reached number 182 in the UK.

Three Cheers: The Ghost Of You

 The next and second album, ”Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge”. The song that I chose for this album is “The Ghost of You” which is the fourth single of the track of Three Cheers. The song talks about losing a loved one or the fear of it and can be interpreted in many ways. To me personally, the song is impactful and the melancholic emotion the chorus and lyrics hold. It was released on September 27th, 2005.

The Black Parade: Sleep

 The third album carries a bit of a story revolving around the death of a patient and how the last thing he sees as a metaphor for death is “The Black Parade”. My personal favorite from this album is “Sleep” and people always sleep on this song (pun intended). There hasn’t been a confirmed meaning for this song but when recording in the studio, the house that the band was staying in was claimed haunted and they would have trouble sleeping and frequently got nightmares.

Danger Days: Sing

The final released album, Danger Days, The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys. This is a conceptual album revolving around a fictional rebellious group who call themselves “Killjoys”. My persona; favorite from this album is “Sing”. It’s a very dramatic song positively unlike the rest of the albums we covered, with no specific meaning behind it.

 There you got it, from starting with a small to a huge concept album, these are all my favorites from each album of My Chemical Romance.

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